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February 08 2018

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I’ve been doing this drawing for ages, but I really wanted to make something great for a great show!

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Star Butterfly



also while im waiting for my tea to steep, since im petty, and they cant fire me any more than they already have i can tell you about the Button That Makes You Lie To People because i CANNOT stop thinking about it and its driving me fucking nuts

i worked at a fancy gourmet coffee shop, but not everyone who came in knew that or cared, so we’d occasionally get ppl who got all their coffee knowledge from starbuckses. starbuckae? starbukakke

anyway sbux has this thing where they’re literally just wrong about what they call some drinks. for example, a cappuccino is traditionally a double shot of espresso with milk foam, like a few sips of drink, but at starbucks the smallest possible “cappuccino” is 8oz and espresso with that much milk? is really just a bastard latte. 

but to explain that to someone who doesnt know better takes time, and there a line forming, and a latte… is close enough to what someone who thinks of a cappuccino as a 16oz drink is expecting. so if someone asked for a “large cappuccino” we were instructed to go “okay :)”, plug in a large latte, and then, before they could see, scroll down to the secret buttons, the forbidden buttons, the deceit buttons, and press the one called “cappuccino”, in “quotes”, which would not only put a cappuccino on their receipt, but would send a message to the barista, across the room, who would then make a latte, see the pink “cappuccino” indicator, and go 

“large cappuccino? :)” 

and i just, like, that’s just, i love how, food is made up and not real



anyone else kinda terrified you’ll never be able to hold a job in the future because of your mental illness






DnD Handbook: Half-Orcs…. evil.

Every Half-Orc PC: He has huge muscles so he can hug his friends real tight….

DnD Handbook: Tieflings…. MORE evil.

Every Tiefling PC: Gay party animal in a crop top and heels

DnD Handbook: Drow…extrEMLY evil

Every Drow PC: Drama-thirsty fashion-forward goth

DnD/Pathfinder Handbook: Goblins….. Unrepentantly evil……

Every Goblin PC: chaotic good hongry child





(wakes up at reasonable hour) (stays in bed for two more hours)

(goes to bed at a reasonable hour)(stays awake for two more hours)






TIL of the “Tiffany Problem”. Tiffany is a medieval name—short for Theophania—from the 12th century. Authors can’t use it in historical or fantasy fiction, however, because the name looks too modern. This is an example of how reality is sometimes too unrealistic.


“Authors can’t use it in fantasy fiction, eh? We’ll see about that…”

–Terry Pratchett, probably

Try to implement anything but a conservative’s sixth grade education level of medieval or Victorian times and you will butt into this. all. the. time. 

There was a literaly fad in the 1890′s for nipple rings for all genders(and NO, it was NOT under the mistaken belief that it would help breastfeeding–there’s LOTS of doctors’ writing at the time telling people to STOP and that they thought it would ruin the breast’s ability to breastfeed well, etc). It was straight up because the Victorians were freaks, okay
Imagine trying to make a Victorian character with nipple rings. IMAGINE THE ACCUSATIONS OF GROSS HISTORICAL INACCURACY


If you are giving your autistic child chlorine dioxide, YOU ARE A FUCKING ABUSER and you fail as a parent.



Chlorine dioxide is basically bleach that gets peddled as a cure for autism.

Parents give this to autistic kids either by mouth or as an enema.

They assume the distress, pain, and mucus being vomited or pooped out is “ropeworms” aka they assume it is the autism “leaving the child’s body.” This is actually the mucous membranes from the child’s digestive tract being burned off.

These awful, horrible, very bad people are destroying their child’s body and causing them immense pain and distress because they want to cure autism. The child learns that if they act autistic, they get hurt, so they stop acting autistic and the parent calls that “cured”.

Any parent who does this should be in prison for child abuse.

If you know of a parent who is doing this to their child, report them to the authorities immediately and get those children out of that abusive home.

So I read up on it and what’s actually happening is much more nefarious than even what the post says. Well-meaning but dangerously misguided parents are unintentionally poisoning their kids, and it’s making it impossible to tell who’s doing it on purpose and who’s not.

So a mixture of sodium chlorite and hydrochloric acid is being sold under the name Miracle Mineral Solution, presumably to sound like a wholesome, “natural” treatment for a wide range of conditions including autism and Alzheimer’s. I also came across an article advocating its use to treat cancers.

In the body these chemicals combine to make the same kind of bleach you use to clean the house with. It’s dangerous and can’t feel good, but it usually isn’t lethal. The way these sick fuckers have tricked people into killing their kids is so sneaky it’s hard to tell what the parent’s intents are.

The way that the bleach becomes chlorine dioxide, a much more powerful, lethal bleach, is that people recommend drinking fruit juice with or directly after it. To most people this would seem harmless. “Fruit is all-natural and always healthy” they might think, but it acidifies the bleach, turning it into chlorine dioxide, which kills.

I have a feeling one reason they did this is that if chlorine dioxide gets banned or people realize what chlorine dioxide is, their product doesn’t technically contain chlorine dioxide, and unless people understand the chemical process, which they probably don’t, they still won’t realize the kind of damage they’re doing.

So don’t just report them if you know they’re using chlorine dioxide, report them if you hear them talk about Miracle Mineral Solution (MMS) or if you see a bottle that looks like this.

Also, if you know anyone who’s using this to treat a condition, warn them. The 1 person I know of who’s died from this was actually an old man who was self-administering it.


I cant believe the heterosexuals are gone




Theyre gone

We’re still here.

who said that









One thing I’ve learned in life, if you act really self-assured and confident you can pretty much get away with anything.

For example, I’ve watched someone walk on to a plane with no passport. Just walked right on.

Once walked out of a dude’s house with a pair of his pants slung over my shoulder. Did all the usual eye-contact, saying-goodbye movements and noises, just… while stealing his pants. He did not notice. 

I told my English teacher that she graded my final paper(I did not turn one in) and that she told me it was well written. She scrambled 3 days trying to find the nonexistent paper, then apologized to me for losing it and gave me a 96%. Confidence is key

my dad’s mate just walked out of a shop with a canoe and didn’t get questioned

Humans are like bees: if they sense you’re an intruder all hell will break loose, but if you get inside the hive they just assume you belong there. Be confident.

Just throwing this out there: when I first started working as a professional I 100% had no idea what I was doing.  I didn’t even remember applying to the case management agency that hired me.  I was fucking TERRIFIED and had the worst case of impostor syndrome walking in the door.

My panicked solution was to walk around like I owned the place.  I’d worked at a Wendy’s all through high school, college, and the year and some after college before this job, so I plastered on my customer service smile and did my damnedest to convince everyone else I was a seasoned professional, and not a terrified 23-year-old with a bachelor’s degree, a lot of experience behind a cash register, and not much else.

It worked.

Coworkers and clients who found out how briefly I’d been in the field during those first six months thought I’d been a case manager for years.  After that 6-month mark everything finally clicked into place, but to outsiders it was seamless because I’d acted like I knew what I was doing the whole goddamn time.  My work in customer service taught me how to pacify anybody, and how to plaster on a smile convincing enough to stop an international incident.

Act like you know what you’re doing and smile.  If they can’t see your knees shaking, they’ll never know.  




Because it has come to my attention that apparently a lot of people weren’t taught proper tipping etiquette so here’s what I was taught.

  • Always tip at least 20%.
  • If you got something in a special or had a coupon, you tip on the price you would have payed, not the price you did pay.
  • At breakfast always tip 25%. Breakfast is never as expensive as dinner and your waitress shouldn’t be shortchanged because you got $5 eggs instead of a $10 sandwich.
  • If you keep a table for longer than an hour, add 10% for every hour you keep the table. It’s great that you’re catching up with a friend you haven’t seen in ten years, but you’re fucking over the waitress by staying for four hours. Every hour you’re there you’re costing her money. Make it worth her time.

We all know to tip 20%, but as someone who works as a cook and often talks to the waiters, no one seems to know about the rest. This is what my dad taught me and this is what I’ll teach my children. Be respectful to your waiters. Don’t undertip. They need to eat too.

America is terrifying.





During the most poor and homeless period of my life, I had a lot of people get angry with me because I spent $25 on Bath and Body Works candles during a sale. They couldn’t comprehend why the hell I would do that when I had been fighting for months to try and get us on our feet, afford food, and have an apartment to live in.

Those candles were placed beside wherever I slept that night. In the morning, I would move them and set them wherever I’d have to hang out. At one point I carried one around in my purse - one of those big honking 3-wick candles. I never lit them, but I’d open them and smell them a lot.

I credit that purchase with a lot of my drive that got me to where I am today. I had been working tirelessly, 15+ hour days with barely any reward, constantly on the phone or trying to deal with organizations and associations to “get help at”. It’d gone on for almost a year by the end of it, and I was so burnt out, to the point that I would shake 24/7. But I could get a bit of relief from my 3-wick “upper middle class lifestyle” candles. They represented my future goals, my home I wanted to decorate, and how I would one day not be in this mess anymore.

When we moved into the apartment, and our financial status improved, I burned those candles every single day. When they were empty, I cleaned them out, stuck labels on them, and they became the starting point of my really cute organization system I had ALWAYS planned to have.

So whenever I hear about someone very poor getting themselves a treat - maybe it’s Starbucks, maybe it’s a home deco item, maybe it’s a video game… I don’t judge them. I get it. I get that you can’t go without anything for that long without it making you go crazy. You need to pull some joy, inspiration, and motivation from somewhere.

poor people deserve things they want, too. it is unfair to expect poor people to only buy things they “need”.

also a comfort item IS A NEED!



















so you know the rule in fairylands where you cant eat or drink anything or you’ll have to stay there forever? does like.. .eating out/sucking dick count

holy f uck jane

its a serious question

well like, the whole thing is that you cannot have consumed anything belonging to the fey realm. so, yes, probably, you would be stuck there. the same would apply if you just straight up ate a fairy.

new question: would deepthroating count in this case even w/o swallowing

no. temporary doesn’t count, otherwise fairies would all be running about sticking their hands in your mouth to get human servants.

you gotta digest it.

so like??? if you puke afterwards?? maybe it doesn’t count?

huh! i wonder how long is enough time for it to be legit. like whatever goes through your stomach immediately condemns you no matter if you throw it up later?

Well Persephone only ate 6 seeds so she only stayed 6 months, so maybe if you spat out most of it you’d just be condemned to the occasional day “BRB got go pay the two day toll for fellating a fairy.”

“you wanna come over for the weekend?”

“oh man im so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now i have to keep coming back to do it again– its a long story”

“you what now”

i can hardly believe this isn’t already the plot of an Oglaf comic

now that u said it im really surprised as well

what the fuck did i just read

Why ISN’T this an Oglaf comic yet?

I’m so happy that i’m not the only person who thinks of questions like these. I love you all so much.

I’m not convinced by this, actually!

Like, this analysis treats it as a substance problem, i.e. “edible matter from fairyland has properties that, if ingested, physically prevent you from being able to return to the real world.”

But OTOH, a recurring theme throughout fairy stories is that they’re all about…rules and exchanges and agreements with really steep interest rates:

  • “I’ll do you this favor, but if you don’t guess my name you’ll have to give me your first-born child.”
  • “You’re gonna be real good at everything but when you’re 16 you’re gonna prick your finger and die.”
  • “You loaned me $2 for the bus when I looked like a beggar, so now here’s a literal pile of gold and shit.”

Not to mention that in Childe Rowland, one of the central “if you eat food from fairyland you’re stuck there” stories, Rowland manages to retrieve his siblings despite them all presumably having chowed down on fairy food – all it took was beating the Fairy King in a swordfight and threatening to chop his head off.

The takeaway, I think, is that the food thing a matter of implicit exchange: if you get your grub on in fairyland, you’re accepting their hospitality and eating food that they own. This means you owe them, which the fairies can magically leverage to prevent you from leaving.

(You can probably get around this by explicitly agreeing to pay for your meal before you sit down to eat. From what I remember, fairies don’t seem capable of pulling a “Haha, we had an agreement but you’re fucked anyways!” maneuver, so if they agree to let you leave they might even be forced to help you leave.)

Which brings us to the matter at hand: if you blow a fairy you’re doing them a favor! They owe you.

And…they’re a fairy, so if you didn’t agree to terms beforehand they might not repay you in a way that’s ultimately helpful or safe, but it certainly doesn’t seem like they’d be able to, like, pat you on the head and be like “Thanks, you’re really good at this buuuuuuut also you’re stuck here forever now.”

Instead, what seems more likely is…I dunno, showing up to your wedding years later and giving you a beautiful white horse that always comes when called, while loudly praising you as truly deserving it for giving them them simply the best oral they’ve had in years. 

Or they feel obligated to show up at your house a couple days a year. So, like

“you wanna come over for the weekend?”

“oh man I’m so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now he always comes by over memorial day weekend and helps me out with minor home repairs.”

“you what now”

This is my favorite act of intellectual bugfuckery on this entire website, when I die I want someone to print this out and place it in my grave with me so I can cherish it forever.

February 07 2018

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Do white people have even an ounce of chill

IIRC she to “sue” (it was like a dollar) because her insurance wouldn’t pay for the cost of the hospital stuff until there was a law suit to address damages. Hence her smiling like it’s a goofy thing.

Oh well jeez. >:/ MEDIA RAGE

Yeah, it emerged afterwards that this was a lawsuit to try to trigger a homeowner’s insurance claim to cover medical bills, and that Connell remains on perfectly good terms with her nephew with no actual stress or tension within the family.

Yeah, this is a case of someone getting fucked over by health insurance and using their own loophole against them.

The media loves this narrative of people filing “ridiculous” lawsuits but actually MOST of those stories are distorted bullshit.

Wow, I never knew the full context of the story. I just heard it vaguely on Buzzfeed or wherever and thought “Wow, what a bitch.”

‘Frivolous lawsuits’ are a myth invented by unethical corporations to discredit the consumers and laborers they’ve screwed over.

wow good to know, just like that poor lady with the Mcdonald’s coffee. :(

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Jugemu (寿) is a Japanese folktale and is one of the most famous stories in rakugo, a form of Japanese spoken entertainment. It has a simple storyline, with the most humorous part being the repetition of a ridiculously long name. It is often used in training sessions for Rakugo entertainers. (Wikipedia)

apparently this meme is actually centuries old and i feel like i’ve just learned a hidden truth


I have 3 moods


1. fuck you
2. fuck me
3. fuck off








dnd idea: an 8-ball but it has a d20 in it so you have to shake it and the d20 rises out of the murky liquid to decide your fate

Good news I found the exact opposite object

yall. every magic 8 ball already has always had a d20 inside.

It doesn’t have the numbers on it though so you can’t use it for dnd

thats quitter talk

ME: I try to jump over the gap
DM: Roll for acrobatics
8 ball: Not likely
DM: you take 97 damage and die







If you’re one of those people who thinks executive dysfunction only happens for things we don’t like (school, cleaning,) then please consider the fact that I’ve been meaning to plug my phone in for 20 minutes and I’m now at 2% and still putting it off to write this post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My anime/video game list consists of over 100 titles, easily, and yet I almost never get around to watching/playing any of them.

Executive dysfunction is not just for boring or unenjoyable things. It’s for everything. Even eating.

What is executive dysfunction? O.o

Put simply, it’s difficulty/inability with initiating tasks. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for executive functions, like decision-making and impulse control. People with ADHD and other neurological disorders that affect the prefrontal cortex often experience difficulty making decisions and performing tasks, as well as exercising self restraint. Part of why people with ADHD tend to procrastinate so badly is out of genuine inability to begin tasks, even if they’re very important.

It feels, for me at least, like I’m constantly waiting for something and I can’t start X task because I’m waiting. I never know what exactly I’m waiting for, but that doesn’t stop me from wasting hours and days not doing the things I need to do, even if I have a desire to do them.

It feels, for me at least, like I’m constantly waiting for something and I can’t start X task because I’m waiting. I never know what exactly I’m waiting for, but that doesn’t stop me from wasting hours and days not doing the things I need to do, even if I have a desire to do them.

Oh thank god, someone put it into words.

For me it’s also waiting for the “right” time to come to complete the task because for some reason my brain thinks doing the task at any other time is horribly, horribly wrong, weird, and out of order. The “right” time might come eventually, might not. It’s a lottery.

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